When I stand in the black sphere of Binah everything collapses in on itself, underneath me. It’s like a reverse big bang, a black hole maybe, swallowing everything elegantly and completely. Utter. There seems nothing at all to hold onto but I am aware of gravity, definitely; the power and suck of downwardsness. And I am swirled into it, barely able to hold onto any thought other than that.
After a while that settles, that sensation of endless falling into a void – it’s still there, but I’m able to put it in the background and focus on some other things – and the feeling that comes to me is compassion. It’s not empathy – nothing so warm and human – more the recognition, at a slight distance, of suffering. I feel compassion for Binah, for the sephiroth itself. For the loss of being so distant from Kether and the separation from the rest of the Tree, that transition through Da’ath that looms ahead. I feel compassion for women in labor, involved in bringing forth life from this impossible place of distance and nothingness; from the stars into the earth, manifest. I feel compassion for Hokmah, stuck over the other side of the Tree and held apart from me and turned, it seems, only towards Kether as a mirror and neglecting everything else.
There is a softness here that I didn’t know about, before. Maybe it correlates with a softness in myself. Binah is in being with what is; like the Dark Goddess in being able to be with that and not needing to change it. To be with Binah is to have no desire other than this moment. It is also about receiving. Someone strokes my hair for half an hour… receive. The woman holding Hokmah agrees that holding Hokmah and Binah between us is like being sisters… receive. My friend flings himself onto me… receive. It also seems a place where one could ask, and one could offer. All these notions – of receiving, of asking, of offering – seem fairly alien to me. I wonder if it is why I have avoided Binah so long. I think Binah is saying be soft. Be the softness that you are. And I know this softness contains and is also expressed by that fierce black hole of gravity, sucking stars down into it. In eating everything up, it loves everything. Gives everything. Receives everything.